Welcome back to my small little corner of the internet. This week I’m braving the topic that I have given a lot of thought. As you may or may not know, last year I got engaged to a rather handsome bearded chap. This year we are getting married. We’ve booked the venue, the dress has bought and my ring has been made. But the one thing I just can’t seem to make my mind up is whether this gal is changing her name.
I’ve talked to family, friends, work colleagues and even the lovely people of twitter. Some of you have been lovely enough to share your thoughts. Now before I tell you my take I want to make it really clear, if you chose to take your partners name then that is your choice. I believe it is a personal choice and respect everyones choice. If you want to double barrel, take their name, or invent a new surname then you own that choice and be proud of it.
So why am I torn?
I love my man and I can’t wait to be part of a married team. There is a part of me that would love to have a joint married identity. I can’t wait to be husband and wife. If we had children it would be nice for us all to have the same name.
My name is my identity, I have had that surname for most of my life. It has become my nickname, I am often to referred to by my surname and it would be strange to lose that.
The other side of it, the darker side is….
Women were once considered to be a mans property, passing from Father to Husband. The offence of Rape, in some countries, at one point was a property offence as women were deemed to be a mans property. My marriage is a partnership. I am not Father’s property and I am certainly not my husbands property.
There is a part of me that views keeping my name is a sign that I am equal. I am a women who is in an equal partnership. As my act to say to the world that I am no ones property and I am equal to any man.
So what will I do?
The way I see it, there are a number of options. I can double barrel my surname and reflect my new partnership and identity, I can keep my maiden name at work and use my married name for my social life, I can keep my name or I can change it.
The problem is that I just don’t know what to do.
What I do know is that this my decision to make alone. It is my identity and my name I will chose and what ever the choice I will be proud of it.
We have come a long way, we have fought for the right to make our own decisions.
So I respect your choice
I respect everyones choices, I respect people who have taken their partners name, and I respect those who haven’t.
Let me know what you chose to do, or what you are choosing to do?
Until Next Time…
Lady Law Student…